I feel good

I went to the gym today for almost two hours. I went with Ebonie so we did rotations for legs and lower body, then we did abs. Then I tried to ride a stationary bike, but the seat was too high so I switched to one of the sit down and ride bikes. Lately, I pushed myself to do 5 minutes on the Precor (a.k.a. Elliptical machine), which was painful & invigorating. Plus I ate my fav low-carb meal. Flank steak and Italian greens with a red wine vinegar sauce. Very tasty! I'm doing much better than I have been doing in the passed weeks. I mean there were days when I was sneaking French fries every moment I could.

Can you predict te pain?...

Let me be the first to say this Fergie CD is good. iTunes won't let me preorder though so I'm annoyed.

 

Went to the gym, did 30 minutes of cardio then 30 minutes of arms, chest & back. Can you redict how much pain I am going to be in? I can't, but I bet it's a lot. 55 pounds in repetition is a lot.

On the road to change...

Finally met my personal trainer yesterday. She's a nice enough girl. I like the fact that her English isn't a complete disaster & that she isn't some pixie-cute, skinny bitch. She's pretty average. She brought me around to work on lower body  & le & then I did arms & cardio alone. The worst thing about this PT experience is that it costs $116 for 30 minutes. Completely awful if you ask me. Though it is good to have someone egging you on. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to stick to it & be skinnier than I ever have been. With my tea, my pills, my eating, my PT, & etc I think I can do it. I just hope it doesn't take forever to see change. I hope I can start to see som change soon- especially fitting into some of clothes that I have managed to gorge myself out of. It will be nice to be able to dress cute again...til next time.

I Did it

I'm kind of proud of myself. I went to the gym after work. I did it & I feel good about it. Now, I wish I could sleep!

Ooops

So I went to the gym. I forgot the lock, I forgot a t-shirt...nuff said

Every day is just too much...

I did not get up & do my 30 minute cardio walk today. I slept in & was almost late for work. Well, I was late. I mean I was almost tragically late. I just could not get up & do it again. #1- I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to sore, & #2- I have been going to bed very late every night. So I came to terms with myself that I can go every other day. I am going tomorrow then I will go again Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I am using the weekends as break time. I need to call the gym & see when my trainer day & time is. I am doing hw now, but I am going to take a super hot shower & hopefully it will help my muscles relax then go to bed. Well, I have to finish some house work. Anyways, I am somewhat disappointed in myself that I didn't get up & go this AM. Crystal made me feel better, she made me realize that I am starting out & I don't want to wear my body down & kill myself. The aftermath could be to great. I mean it is way too early for burnout.

I'm a sleepy baby...

So I got up & did my 6 am Cardio walk this morning. Did you wish me luck? Get this, I also got myself out of bed! Ebonie did not have to wake me up & drag me. I actually woke her up. So we did this 30 minute walk. Out the gate, down the street, up to Dadeland. Then turn around, leave Dadeland, walk back up the street, go through a different gate & hike it up the stairs. I had my work out playlist going on my iPod & I was good to go. Then we came in, she walked Candy I made eggs. We ate eggs & fruit then got ready for work (showers, hair, etc.) It was all pretty nice. It actually felt nice to not be "just" out of bed when heading to work. Let me tell you though, I am sleepy as hell right now! The night isn't over...I'm cooking for the Pot-Luck @ work. Organized by Moi of course. I have hw to do as well. I am going to learn to balance all of this. It's ten now. I should be done with cooking by 10:30, clean up by 11, shower, read for class, go to bed. That's my plan b/c @ 6am I'll be up again...

Baby steps...

Let me just start by saying that I am obsessed with this CD!! I have been waiting all summer; 7 more days feels like downright torture. I am engaged in a Cosmic debate with myself...do I downloan it from iTunes & get the exclusive, pre-order bonus track? Or, do I wait to buy it hard copy. My indulgent side tells me to do both...*Sigh*

On another note. I went to the gym today. I did my assessment with the Personal Trainer. We won't talk about my weight or my BMI...

I also signed up for a regular personal trainer. The GM was real nice & gave me a student rate & cut out the $99 start up fee. So, I only cut off one leg instead of 2 to pay for it. So at least I can still work out...right? $116/month for now, 4 sessions. I am being told that is not too bad...hell if I know. So I worked out some, let me tell you my shoulders can feel it. Tomorrow will not be fun. I prefer pain in my lower body than upper. *sigh*...off to bed. I have a 6am cardio walk. wish me luck!

I cleared the hurdle

I went to L.A. Fitness today & I got my bloody gym membership. I cnanot even count how mnay times I had the money & squandered it. Or how many times I just plain put it off. Well, today I finally did it. All $309 have been charged & I'm ready to go. I got my pass, took my picture & got my tour. I went & got my yoga pants, I've got my sneakers. All I need now is a lock for the locker room...piece of cake/piece of pie, which I will no longer eat. I pretty much think I am set to go. Oh, I also got my pills today. I'm very excited about these baby steps! So, cheer me on as I begin my walk.

An idea for "Before & After"...

So in only 2 weeks I have gained 4 pounds back. *sigh* Tomorrow I am going to the gym to get my membership, I will be back on my tea come Monday plus I will be on these pills my mom took to lose all her weight. I want to be slimmer when I go to NY in a month & a half, I want to be much smaller when I buy my dress for the Christmas party this year. I think it was around the time I was dress shopping for it last year that I realized I had just gained way too much weight. So if I have lost weight by then, the pictures can be like a before & after effect. So there, here are my goals:

1) To be like a size 14/16
2) To lose enough weight to be able to breathe wihtout the extra effort. Especially when it comes to walking up stairs or run if being chased.
3) To feel confident in myself physically & internally
4) To not have my first & last thoughts of the day be about my weight.

Where exactly did the weight come from?

Back in the Spring my doctor told me I needed to lose like 100 pounds. Somewhere between Jr Year & now I have gained more weight than I care to know. The sad part is, I don't know when I gained it, how I gained it or why. That is not saying I gained 100 pounds in that short time. I have been overweight most of my life. It's just something I have come to terms with & never felt the need to change. I finally feel like I need to & I actually want to.
So like I was saying, I am totally bored with my diet. I don't want to eat anymore Cardboard Bars (Protein Bars), I miss french fires, pizza & rice. I have been craving Risotto for a week! I am hoping to get a gym membership by friday so I can tone up some. I know I can do it, I just need to add some variety to it. I think I am going to call my insurance company tomorrow & ask them if they have a Nutritionist in my area. I honest to God am just bored. I'm bored, but I am going to stick to it. The one thing
The one thing I CANNOT & WILL NOT do is restrict myself when I am out of town or on vacation. You don't travel to eat salda & drink water. So I won't! I can still be health conscious without fucking up my vacation with rice cakes.

58 Days...so why now?

Although I've been on this diet for a total of 58 days, this is my first journal entry. I am asking myself why?!?!?!? To be 100% honest, there is no real reason. It is just something I decided I wanted to do. Even if no one else reads it, it's like being able to share what I am feeling about what I am doing to the world without ever having to talk to anyone. I don't have to tell the same story over & over & repeat myself. This excites me. So come away with me on this rollercoaster ride!